Today is Tuesday December Twenty Second Two Thousand Oh Nine. For the first time in recent memory I have all of my holiday shopping done early. Gone are the days of drinking a dozen beers in the car while waiting in line to get into the mall parking lot and then bumbling around for a few hours trying to find stuff. In the six weeks leading up to xmas I get nailed for gifts: Chris's birthday, Clayton's birthday, Holley's birthday. Pop's birthday, and then xmas. The only presents that need to be exactly on time are my nephew clayton's and xmas. Since my brother and his family live a few time zones away I have to get every thing done and shipped ten days before the holiday. It was nice to actually have some ducats this year to spend on the people I love and not have to worry about my dope supply. I really enjoy buying people stuff and since I am super materialistic its good therapy for me.
I want to talk about a share that I heard last nite and some specific things she talked about. The woman who shared looks much like many of the girls I went to high school with. She is pretty, well manicured, always well dressed, well educated, and super nice. If you saw her walking down the street you would never guess that the used to be a raging drunken cocaine using pot smoking terror. Just doesn't fit both her look and personality. Granted its been five years since she got sober but its hard for me to imagine her listing to the left a bit and snorting huge lines of coke while smoking a joint. Just goes to show you that the disease of addiction doesn't pull any punches and that it can happen to anyone. She is super sweet and while I am not attracted to her, she is cute and must make someone very happy.
Anyway, she talked about when she first got into AA she wanted to be the queen of AA and wanted everyone to like her. This is very similar to my feelings after a few months in the program and while it is a character defect of mine I don't think that it is all that bad. I say this because the harder you try in AA the more you get out of it. So the harder you try and more successful you are with your recovery the greater the chances you have to stay sober. She also spoke about making some poor decisions during her recovery. This struck me as well because sobriety for a alcoholic is life and life is going to give you poo every once in a while and you have to be able to deal with that. Life and the world around me are not going to change just because I decided to do the next right thing. All I can do is to be prepared for adversity and be honest with myself and I will be ok.
I know that I write about meetings a bunch but meetings are a big reason why I am able to stay sober when so many others have failed. Meetings give me a connection with others that I didn't really feel before except with close friends and family members. I may trumpet the vast amount of eye candy at Cambridge AA meetings (last nite was no exception woo-wee) but its the fellowship and trust in others that I really enjoy. Besides, who doesn't like to hear a good tale of fail and bail followed by a triumphant return to a normal life. It always makes me feel good and while there can me some bummer and uncomfortable moments all in all its awesome.
I promised myself that I would be honest on this blog and that I would tell some tales of my addiction. I am going to start that right after I go freeze my ass off and smoke a few lung darts.
Well I have decided that the war stories can wait and I would like to talk about my sneaker addiction. This is nothing new and has nothing to so with my recovery, I just like sneakers. I used to only buy skate shoes like Vans and Airwalk and while they are very comfy they are not that stylie. I realize that my sense of style borders on plain but I am at least trying. My new kick is Adidas and their outlet website makes it too damn easy for me to purchase a pair. I tell people that I own so many pairs of sneakers because its a good way to combat foot odor but the truth is cool kicks make me feel good and thats what life is about. At the moment I have the following: 1 pr Stan Smiths, 2 pr Superstars, 2 pr Campus, and 2 pr running shoes. For the purpose of symmetry I will be ordering another pair of Stan Smiths today in gold. Yes gold and they are awesome funky sneakers.
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