Decisions & Sarah Palin

Today is Sunday March Twenty Eighth Two Thousand Ten. Palm Sunday. I forget the exact significance of the palm leaves but I remember as a kid always liking PS because we got something to take home from the church. Next weekend is Easter which for some reason is a big deal for my family. We are not, as a rule, religious but mom always wants to get together for dinner. I tried my hardest to explain that the Sunday bus schedule wouldn't fit their dinner time plans but my pop volunteered to drive back on Sunday night. Once again Merlin gets the award for most patient husband. Yep, my pop's name is Merlin, I never thought it was a weird name growing up but I guess it is. So it looks like I will be going to Maine next weekend after the Quaker Friend's meeting.

Yesterday's Quaker Friend's meeting was very interesting for a couple of reasons. First the speaker was a friend of mine who is insanely bizarre and always makes people feel uncomfortable when he speaks. He is very honest and doesn't care what people think when he speaks his mind. He comes from a fairly fucked up family and it had a major impact on his life. He is also somewhat bitter at the treatment he perceived as receiving when he first got into the program. He didn't believe that people welcomed him with open arms and that he had to work to gain people's trust and confidence. I wasn't there and shouldn't have an opinion on it but come on, thats the way life works. Evidently he has been in and out of the program quite a few times so people didn't know if he was serious or not. He called the group out pretty harshly and it shows what an impact AA has on people's lives. That he cares that much about AA to still be pissed off about his treatment to mention it at a meeting twelve years later is amazing to me. Time to let it go dude.

The second thing that happened yesterday was the announcement by a member that they were going to stop care for her mother. This is a nice way of saying that the are no longer going to prolong her mom's life and that the organs that are supported by machines will fail eventually ending her life. Pretty harsh decision in my opinion and not an easy one, signing something that would mean the end of your mother's life. One positive thing I can think if is that perhaps the tremendous pressure that she has been living with dealing with her mom will be lifted once she is thru mourning. I know and care about this person and its been very difficult to watch her breakdown repeatedly when speaking about her mom. Normally she is a very sweet and polite woman but when she talks about what she has and is going thru that all gets thrown out the window. One of the many amazing things about the program is that every fucking person in that room feels empathy for her and only wishes her the best during this ordeal. I hope that she is able to rationalize this decision as the best one for both her family AND herself and that life has much to offer her after the dark times.

I often wonder whats going to happen with my mother and father when they can no longer care for themselves. If I am still in the area I will be the local brother to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with and I am fine with that. Not only is that something that kids do for their parents but its something that I feel I owe to myself to get thru. If you can watch someone you love get sick & die in front of your eyes and get thru it ok, there isn't much other stuff you can't handle. I know that probably sounds very self serving but I like to think of it more as optimism. Trying to see the silver lining and all that shit. I will do whatever it takes to help my family because I want to. Its beyond feeling like I owe it to them or something, its just something that will be done when the time comes. Both my folks are healthy and have living will but you never know whats going to happen or when its going to be. You just have to be as prepared as you can for whatever happens and deal with it honestly. I have spoken in my brother about this eventuality and I think we are on the same page with whatever happens to them. Pretty fucking morbid I know but its something that needs to be thought about and discussed.

I was at the gym this morning at as usual they were blasting KISS108 over the speakers. I was trying my best to ignore all the Lady Gaga when a tune came on that I recognized. I couldn't place it but then the "dj" came over the broadcast and announced that what just played was by rap group "The Nice Boys" (or boyz, it is rapanguage after all). I saw the NB's open up for Bajafondo at SXSW and I smiled smugly to myself when I made that connection. In my awesome opinion that is the best thing about SXSW, how different on the musical spectrum you can go when you are there. Thats probably the thing I took away most from my time there, keep and open mind and sometimes the dude of music will reward you for your patience. Did I really like John Hiatt when he played ? No, but I got to meet Jack Cassidy and some famous rapper when I was listening to the opener "Band Of Heathens". Which, by the way, is an awesome name for a band. Sorta like Fuzzy's new band, Caravan Of Thieves. Sometimes names just fit together like peanut butter & jelly, or sex & chocolate, or idiocy & Sarah Palin.

Ah, Sarah Palin. My higher power's unintentional gift to comedy in politics. I would be willing to give her a break if she wasn't so fucking annoying. I used to think that anytime there is a woman vp candidate for anything that would be a good thing but Palin has driven that from my mind. I don't know if she knows she is annoying or not but she continues to be a boil on our two party system. Even my mother doesn't like her and she has been a member of the League Of Women Voters since it started. Granted she isn't a repub and Palin is but the fact she doesn't even respect her is interesting. Placing aside all the shady political shit she has been involved in I just don't like her. I didn't like her before she opened her mouth and now its even worse. My seventh grade math teacher told me once that I had "diarrhea of the mouth" and I believe that fits with ole Sarah. No matter what crap she is saying has any truth to it or not, her voice and accent cuts thru me like that bad bbq did the other week. Bad, bad, bad. Luckily she will be visiting Boston in the spring and if I am a really good boy I can go hear her speech to the Boston Tea Party.