Lifestyle Changes Are Good

Today is Monday April The Twelve Two Thousand Ten. Mondays are not what they once were in my life and I look forward to the week ahead. One more week of sobriety, one more week of working out, one more week of losing weight, and most importantly, one more week of living. I don't actually treat each day as if it was my last or anything like that but I have learned to appreciate each day as it comes. There are so many things that could happen or could have happened that would prohibit me from enjoying each and every day. I don't formally pray each day as some in the program do, I don't get on my knees and thank jebus or anything but I do thank my higher power in my own way as I bumble my way thru life.

My lifestyle is so different than it was. I treated my body like shit day after day without any regard about the long term effects of my use. It wasn't that I thought I was invincable, I just didn't give a shit beyond that day. My life consisted of living for that day and dwelling in the past. Dwelling about lost dreams, goals not met, and a general lack of interest in life. I think that the best thing that has happened is I able able to reflect on my past mistakes so that I am better prepared to make the right decisions moving forward. That doesn't mean that I won't make mistakes but I hope that I am able to recover from them and learn from them. In the past I would just try to put whatever stupid thing I had done out of my mind and ignore any conseguences that were a result. Or something like that. Some times just writing what you are thinking doesn't make too much sense once you right it down and take a look at it.

So my right knee has been pissed at me for a couple of weeks now and I actually took some action to see what I could do about it. If I work on the elip machine for an hour or so my knee will give out when I am just standing around. After I had surgery to repair a ruptured patellar tendon in that knee it used to happen all the time and now it was happening again and that was worrisome to me. Rather than ignoring it I made an appointment to see my physical therapist and I am really glad that I did. Not only was it cool to see him again and check out the new class of interns working there my pt knew exactly what was going on with my knee. Using a chart of the bod he explained what muscles and tendons were there to support my leg and that was happening to limit that. He also showed me a few exercises to help strengthen my quad and while they suck to do I am sure they will help it. He also showed me a way to do leg presses so that my knee won't be as stressed and I will feel comfortable.

Yeah, just call me muscles. Its funny how psyched I am about working out by myself. Previously I was all about team sports and wouldn't even think of going to the gym on my own accord. Even when I was skiing for my college it was a team effort. Sure, when you are being timed its just you and the snow but everything else you did with other people. It would be cool to have someone to work out with, preferably with boobs, but its not absolutely needed. Like my sobriety I am doing this for nobody else but myself so anyone else who is involved is window dressing. Besides, working out with wimmin can be quite distracting. I remember going to the gym with my girlfriend in college and all I would do when working out was to watch her sweat and have dirty thoughts about that. Ah Heather, what a odd duck she was. All she ever wanted to do was to be a nurse and when she achieved that she decided that it was no longer her calling so she got married and had three kids and now home schools them. Its a pity really, she looked so fucking hot in her nurses outfit and I am sure some old dude would appreciate that.

I guess that is one bonus to working in a hospital if you are attracted to the fairer sex in uniform. The only problem is most of the nurses my age are already hard and jaded by their profession. And, most of them have diamonds not only on the soles of their shoes but also on their left ring fingers. I don't know when I started looking for that before checking an xx chromo out, probably in my late twenties but its important. I don't lust after women I know are otherwise unavailable because to me its like watching a stripper. Seeing or fantasizing about someone that you have no way of following up on is in my opinion a waste of time. I can certainly appreciate a fine specimen but thats where it ends. I have been in strip bars but as a serious alcoholic I never had enough money to both drink to excess and pay for the dancers to shake their booty in my face. I would much rather interact with a xx chromo who I stand a chance, no matter how small, of seeing their knockers up close and personal. To throw money at a naked woman on a stage does pass the time but I can think of a million different things I'd rather spend my cash on.