A Perfect Day

Today is Friday April Twenty Third Two Thousand Ten. Last nite was a nite of many realizations and much fun. Yesterday was probably a perfect day and to go against what I promised myself that I wouldn't do here, I am going to go thru the day step by step and reflect on what happened. It seems that I am getting more and more perfect days now more than ever and I am pretty psyched about that. I can almost always count on a perfect day when I am in Arlington on the weekends because I have everything scheduled and locked in and that pleases me. What makes a perfect day for me ? Any day that I can accomplish something and learn a thing or two in the process. And yesterday was just such a day, in my life anyway.

Yesterday started innocently enough with me waking up before the alarm at five. I always like that, there is nothing worse than being summoned from the depths of sleep by the alarm clock. I am pretty good at training my body to wake up and now that I've been up at five I'm pretty much set up that way now. I had a cup of my new coffee which was quite tasty. Rich and bold the way I like it and for nine bucks a pound a really good deal. I went to the gym and I was able to burn a thousand calories in sixty five minutes which is just five minutes off my goal. That was quite an accomplishment for me as I started with ten minutes if torture on that fucking thing. Getting fit is awesome in so many ways but one of them is you are able to see progress if you work hard enough.

Work was good to me yesterday. I finished what I set out to do and even was able to complete a few tasks that I didn't think I'd be able to finish. I helped out a colleague who was struggling with a project and hopefully I made his day easier. I was able to meet my friend Rich for coffee which is really important to me, its like fifteen minutes of sanity during the day. Rich isn't in the program but he is very aware of what addiction is and has been a great supporter during my recovery. He was one of the people who really knew what was going on when my life was spiraling out of control and I am lucky to call him my friend. We met one day because I was wearing an obscure Dead shirt and he stopped me in the hallway to ask me about it. We have been friends ever since and this summer he and his wife asked me to preside over their wedding which was an awesome honor in my life.

After going back and forth whether or not to blow it off I went to the meeting that I chair every Thursday. Admittedly I should not be thinking of blowing off a meeting that I chair but I have been doing it for nine months and I am getting a little tired of it. It was a great meeting with some new folks and visitors from out of town and everyone who wanted to was able to share. I was able to share as well and I have not had a chance to for a few months in that meeting. I always let everyone else yap before I go but this time when there was a pause between speakers I went for it. It was great to check in and let everyone know how I am doing and whats going on in my life. The regulars in that meeting care about me and have invested their time in my recovery and I want to make sure that they are aware of my appreciation. After the meeting ended I hightailed it back to the mbta for my next mission of the day.

I went to a club in the theater district to see a funk band I like and needed to meet up with a couple of friends before the show for my ticket. I wasn't there for more than ten minutes before they arrived which is a first. I am usually very early for shows and spend a long time waiting for others. There were probably twenty people in there that I consider close friends and none of them are in the program. I still maintain my previous friendships from when I was using and they drink around me but I don't care. I only care if they get totally out of control and that didn't happen last nite. I am sincerely glad that I didn't kill the friendships that I had when I was drinking, that I was somehow able to shut the effects of my alcoholism away from those folks. Many of the people were old PH!SH tour friends and friends from my time in Salem. People who if I ever get married, will be at my wedding or in time, funeral. Real solid people that I know that I can count on if needed.

I left the show at eleven thirty so that I could get home and be in bed by twelve thirty. The mbta was golden last nite and I arrived home almost to the minute that I wanted to. There was a package for me from my interwebs shopping which is always awesome and that was the end to my perfect day. On my way home I reflected on a couple of things that struck me over the day. The first is that I am blessed with quality people who like to hang out with me. The second is that I now have a few women who are very close friends of mine. Not fuck buddies or anything like that, but good friends who I can depend on. Women who when I finally start dating and the lucky girl is driving me nuts, I can go to and get consul before I do something really stupid and she never talks to me again. Another thing I thought about is that crushes are just that, short term infatuations that may drive you nuts but they will go away at some point. The object of a couple month crush was there last nite and I discovered that while she is still super hot and smells awesome, I am over her. She is just not what I am really looking for and that I am ready to move on. When I was using I would pine away for months before moving on and while certain women can make me feel like a freshman in highchool I am much better able to handle the feelings and make appropriate decisions about them.

So yeah, for me it was the perfect day and one of many over the past fifteen months. I was up and about for nineteen hours and def had a few more hours in me if I didn't have to work today and that felt good as well. It was a great day in sobriety and I learned things that will help me in my recovery as an alcoholic and drug addict but also help me work towards my goal of being a man of integrity. Integrity is not something you learn I think but something you feel. A lack of guilt on your conscience is a good step in that direction and I don't feel guilty about anything. Well perhaps I feel guilty about the donut and hotdog I had last week but nothing of merit.