Weekend Is Finally Here !

Today be motherfucking Friday the Twenty Eighth of May Two Thousand Ten. I am very happy. Happy to be alive, happy to be sober, happy that its Friday, happy to just be. I am just so fricking lucky to have what I have and to be who I am. I know that I am going to look back very fondly at this second year of sobriety and the absolute joy I have towards life and those who play a part within it. I have friends who actually give a shit about me and who want to spend time with me, thats so far from where I was just two years ago I can't even believe it. Its so awesome that hard work can may off dividends and its those dividends that make me want to continue working on my recovery. I'm not just talking about actually having sexual relations with a woman again although that it awesome to think about. I am just talking about people wanting and trusting my friendship and how they listen when I talk to them. They are real friends and are not hanging out with me because I can do something for them or I can supply them with some substance.

For the past three weeks I've been trying to buy a pair of Birkenstock Arizona sandals off the interwebs for less than sixty bucks. The retail price for this footwear is over a hundred bucks so I've been looking for a less expensive way. I don't want to buy knock offs because I don't think they are as comfy and may not last as long. Anyone who has not worn birks have no idea of just how awesome they are but those of us who have know the secret. Christ, they are made by Germans and how many crappy products come from Germany ? Anyway, I purchased one pair with fake leather uppers for fifty three bucks and the company said they were sold out of them. Fine I thought, that was a fluke so I took a chance and bought another pair, this time a totally rubber birki from the same company for thirty bucks. Sold out again. Fuck you, I thought so I went to another company and just ordered some clearance ones with real leather in black for sixty three dollars including shipping. I really hope they actually have them as it annoys me when merchants have products for sale on the interwebs but don't have any inventory to support them. I am pretty sure thats illegal and called a bait and switch. The merchant gets you onto their website with the promise of saving money but then they try to sell you something for a bunch more money. Not going to happen to this sucker...

I will be seeing my god daughter for the first time in five years on Sunday and I am really looking forward to it. I am not going to make a big deal that I am her god father, I just want to re establish a friendship with her if possible and begin to get to know her once again. She is only nine so I don't think she remembers meeting me when she was younger. I do hope that she still has the silver cup that I gave her folks when she was born, her sister should have one as well. I hear she is quite a little lady and its going to be interesting to see how much she has grown. I sent their mom an email to make sure everything was copacetic and it was. She said that I didn't have to ask but I just want things to be out in the open between us, esp when it comes to her kids. I will spare people's feelings if I can but I have found that it is better to be honest than to deceive. I think that humans are inherently dishonest and it takes work not to lie on a daily basis. I am proud to be able to look in the mirror and honestly say that I didn't have to lie to anyone that day. Its another one of those miracles of sobriety everyone keeps talking about !

I think my mom and dad are starting to get over the death of their cat. I am amazed at the mourning period, perhaps I am noticing stuff like that more often than before but they finally seem to have righted the SS parental units. My mom said that she was crying every morning and my pop wasn't eating. As I said before he was a pretty cool cat and its amazing how attached people get to their pets. I think also it was the suddenness of the death, one day he was there and the next he wasn't so they didn't have any time to prepare themselves. I am hoping this doesn't prohibit them from picking up another cat in the future, I am sure they won't be as psyched to let the cat outside like they did the previous one but I hope they get one just the same. Cats are such a hoot and such a big part of my folks life as they don't seem to be able to relate to their grand kids on any level. Well, my pop can but my mom seems to think that she is a martyr and ALWAYS mentions when my pop pays for shit. She doesn't seem to understand thats what the fuck grandparents do, they pay for shit when the grand kids visit. Thats what my grandparents did and thats what every fucking grandparent will do from now to doomsday.

Well, almost another month of sobriety in the books. I can't wait for the rest of the summer with all the music and other events I've got planned. Hopefully I will be able to keep myself out of trouble and will also remain employed till the fall. I think I have to work a thousand hours in a year to qualify for that years payment into my pension plan so there is no fucking way I'm going to walk before that happens. I am at roughly eight hundred hours so another five to six weeks and I should be good to go. Watch me get the axe with an hour left to go, that would be awesome. Thing is, I don't really care at this point. Certainly I'd rather be happily employed but if I hate it here so much that its driving me crazy then I should not be employed here. If I do decide to quit I am going to do it next October quickly after I return from Texas. Might as well as take a vacation and get paid for the days before I end up getting the hell out of here. Unlike the last time I took a vacation and quit my job this time I will have a plan and a good head on my shoulders rather than just looking for an excuse to party for a few months. I have enough money saved for at least a year of living before I would absolutely have to find gainful employment. Obviously I'd rather spend the money on transportation rather than just living but if thats the way it is, then thats the way it is. I will be bummed that seven years of employment didn't end on a happier note but then again I was drunk for five and a half of those seven years.