Today is January Twenty Second Two Thousand Ten. I decided not to go out and see music last nite, I was pretty tired after getting up at five to hit the gym, working all day and going to two meetings. It was also a pretty emotional day and I have learned that giving a shit about life can make a person tired. I have also learned that its ok to be tired and to go to bed early. I always thought there was something wrong with my buzz if I was tired and I needed more. At least thats what I was telling myself everyday when I woke up and wanted to drink.
I was just IM'ing with one of the guys I lived with in the Somerville crack house lo those many years ago. He and his brother would be smoking cocaine when I left in the morning, when I got home at nite, and when I went down to pee in the middle of the night. I don't think they moved from their couches positions very much and finally passed out there when they were tired. I think the only reason why they got up in the first place was to make more crack cocaine from the large amount of powder they had delivered. The guy I was just talking to was the one who ran the business and did most of the work and organizing while the other brother was just a hanger on. It was interesting to see their downfall and sort of sad really, eventually the older one went down for dealing and spent a few years in the clink.
He is doing much better now but says that his brother has the same attitude as he did in their crack days. He seems to have changed for the better and has moved away to the middle west with a wife, kids, house, and a couple of dogs. I was always super nice to me and I never had a problem with him, I just didn't like his brother. I am glad he is happy and while he still is the same dude he has much more perspective and happiness in his life. For that I am glad because five years ago I didn't think that was possible. He had gotten out of jail, was doing cocaine again, and didn't seem to have learned very much. Then something happened when he was attending his court mandated aa meetings. Saw the light I guess and he appears to be a better man because of it.
I have mixed feelings about the courts mandating aa or na as part of a sentence. I have seen it work for some people so thats good but forcing someone to attend a voluntary program just goes against my beliefs. As a chairperson or secretary I have signed many court slips for attendance and it seems like there wouldn't be any way for the court to follow up with it. After all, nobody uses their last names and giving my full signature to a possible criminal is not something to be taken lightly. But if one person out of a hundred is sober because of this requirement then I guess its a good idea. For me, one of the best things about aa is the ability to make a difference in people's lives while improving my life in the process.
I am going to buy a car this summer and I am trying to decide how to go about it. My first idea is to buy a piece of crap for two grand and then save for a few years and pick up an nicer one. This would allow me to have a rig to drive around and then save fifteen or twenty thousand dollars for a car that I want. As I mentioned before a aa friend offered to sell me his POS for fifteen hundred dollars and I think its a good deal because the car has super low mileage for a '96. I was pitching this idea to my pop and he suggested that I buy a nicer car now and that he could help me out with it. That certainly opens up some possibilities and now I can't decide what I want to do. The 1.5k car would be easy peasy and I could be driving around in it by April or May. The 10k car would put be into it by the end of the summer and then of course the more expensive one I would wait for three years before making the decision. I have never owned a really new working car with the exception of a volvo wagon and my dad's mb190. God do I miss that 190, it was awesome and my pop really loved it. The engine seized after the timing chain snapped and emitted the most horrid smell I have ever encountered.
I will be yapping about this subject quite a bit because I am a very visual person and it helps me to write things out so that I can look at them and make a decision. If I save say eight hundred dollars starting in March till August that will give me 4.8k to spend on a car. If pops is willing to match that then I can get into a 10k car that should be pretty sweet. Now the question is what type of car ? I would love another benz or a bmw but I don't think I am going to go there. I really like the mini coopers and also the Mazda3 as they are smaller cars but still have plenty of zip. The cooper is a gimmick car but they are fast and nimble enough and I should be able to park the thing anywhere. I like the size and body style of the Mazda3 as well as its faster and spendier cousin the Mazda maxspeed3. There is always the possibility of a VW of course and I will be looking into those as well. If someone gave me 20k right now and told me to pick out a car it would def be a cooper or a maxspeed3. It should be interesting to see how my opinions change as the year goes on.
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