Pinhead's Review & Co Worker Conversations

Today is Wednesday January Twenty Seventh Two Thousand Ten. I just got an invite from my boss for my review and typical to his mo it is scheduled for 10:30 am today. I furnished the required papers in the middle of September, was notified that I was not getting a good review in the middle of October and now it is almost the end of January and time for my review. I wonder if I am getting fired today or if he will follow thru with what he explained would happen in October. Its funny how life is, I was just thinking to myself on the way back from the gym how they should have fired me last December and how anything after that time is just gravy. Perhaps the gravy train here at Children's Hospital Boston is over but hopefully it is not. I actually enjoy my work here even if my boss is a pinhead and I will actually miss this place. I was cursing the UPS for making a delivery that I have to sign for a maybe I will be around for it after all. I am not sure if they can fire me without some sort or formal warning period from Human Resources which I have not had but I like to prepare for the worst possible outcome. We will see what will happen.

I am now the secretary for the AA group Welcome All which I am a member of and where I received my one year medallion. Besides being clapped at on a weekly basis I present a short five minute aa related business, run the monthly business meetings, and sign people's court slips. I also serve as one of the communication points from central service to our group. Which reminds me, I need to call central services and tell them who I am, what my address is, and some other details. There was another guy who volunteered as well as me but didn't see my hand raised because he was behind me. I was going to let him do it and then he said that I could do it. It was typical AA stuff, people not wanting any sort of confrontation with each other. We talk with each other and care for each other we never want to be obviously pissy or anything like that. What sealed the deal was that he is going to school in the fall ad wouldn't be able to put a full year of service into the position. I don't know why it is important to me to do service in AA meetings, I think I just like to be a organizational part of something I care about. Well, that and I get clapped at every week.

So I didn't get fired today and the meeting with pinhead wasn't all that bad by meeting standards. He did congratulate me on a year of sobriety when I told him which was good but he still doesn't like me. I don't totally blame him, after all I did lie to him a bunch when I was active and didn't do shit for work in six months. What I do blame him for is being a bad manager as he never has anything positive to say and never seems to give a crap about the people he manages. I had a talk with another team member who I am friends with and she agreed that he was also a pretty crappy manager and some things just can't be helped. She also picked up on some tension between us, personally I think that pinhead was pissed that he didn't fire me when he had the chance. Boy oh boy did he have many chances in the fall of ninety eight when I would come into work already drunk and then pass out in various network closets only to get up and drink again. I am not proud of my behavior and plan never to repeat it so I guess I can't blame pinhead for anything as much as I want to.

I had a good conversation with the previously mentioned coworker and told her about my sobriety, healthy livin', and my desire to get another job. She agreed with what I said and offered to help with my resume and cover letters which is awesome. I have been friends with her since about the day she started and she is a rarity in the networking field. She is outgoing, a woman, and cute which is not a combination you see often in my field. She is also very good at what she does and doesn't use her curves to get her way. I had a crush on her when we first became friends but now she is like a sister to me and will be a good sounding board when I start getting into the thick of things with my job hunting. She was also very supportive of my lifestyle change and who wouldn't be as I was a total selfish asshole for much of my life. I don't mind referencing my past life in that way and while it is harsh it is also the truth. I must remember what I once was and what I have the ability to become.

It totally blows me away that I am healthy now. I don't drink, I don't use drugs, I don't smoke ciggys, I exercise daily, I watch what I eat, and I even take vitamins. I shower and shave at least once a day and I use various pit sticks, hair conditioners, and body spray so that I smell nice. I didn't always smell so good and I am proud to say that the only time I will smell bad again is if I go on some sort of outdoor outing for a few days that doesn't have shower facilities. I know this seems obvious and something that your parent or guardian would teach you when you are little but its something that I ignored. I am pretty sure I went a few weeks and maybe even a month without brushing my teeth and that is just plain nasty. I had little or now concept of a routine and would ignore even the most basic of necessities. Well, thats all changed now and whats important to consider is that other than the daily showering all of this didn't happen at once.