Coffee & The Future

Today is Sunday January Fourteenth Two Thousand Ten. A nice lazy Sunday morning, its even Sunny out albeit frickin freezing out. I think I have finally discovered how to make perfect cup of coffee. The first and most important part of the equation is of course the coffee. I get this stuff called Casablanca supremo mailed to me from Puerto Rico that has a very bold taste. Since I drink my coffee black I think the flavor is pretty damn important. I use a french press with four tablespoons of the PR coffee and I get exactly a cup of coffee. There is this foamy stuff on stop and it tastes awesome. I don't drink a shitload of coffee every day, probably three or four cups on the average day. That probably sounds like a bunch but considering my day starts at five thirty and ends and nine thirty and I'm only home for two hours of that I think its ok.

I also drink that Starbucks instant stuff which it isn't as good as my PR coffee its damn tasty and better than drunken blownuts coffee. I will never understand who people like D&D's so much, I think they suck. Their donuts are awesome but since I don't really eat donuts anymore I don't have any reason to go in there. I like Starbucks clover brew coffee even though its expensive its awesome and I usually only drink it on Saturday mornings before the quaker friends meeting. I suppose as an alcoholic I should spend about a dozen entries on coffee but I've got much more important stuff to write about. Its a nice lazy Sunday to drink coffee, eat oatmeal and workout at the gym. I have a few movies to watch as well and will have some quality time with my kindle.

Friday nite was both fun and educational for me. It was fun because Trey band is a blast filled with the type of music I really enjoy. Jackass was there but I didn't run into him which was good, I don't want to talk to him about anything at a show with other people around. What we have to talk about is between us. I was with a bunch of people who I've known for at least ten years but whom I'd only see at shows. When you are at a show its ok to be totally wasted because its a special occasion and they don't know that you are like that every day. One friend of mine almost cried when she saw me because I look so different. It was quite and experience to have that effect on someone in a positive way and it doesn't hurt that she is good friends with one of the women I have a crush on. In fact, crush girl said something very interesting to me. The first time we ever met was at Deep Banana Blackout last winter when I had about seventy days of sobriety. She said that I was a total dick and I was with some girl. I think she got the wrong impression because she knows "that girl" and I don't think I was nasty. I am just not like that, I am sure I was anxious because I was at DBB so newly sober but who knows. Point is she likes who I am now and wants to have dinner with me at a later date.

So I also had a good talk with crush #2 as I am now calling her for purposes of anonymity. I firmly believe that a man needs to keep his options open as long as you don't commit to two women at once you should be ok. C2 is in the program and I just have this connection with her somehow. We make eye contact all the time in meetings but are both afraid to move forward with anything. I talked to her for fifteen minutes or so and she seemed really enthused about my progress. Its hard to tell tho, whether she is supportive because of the program or she finds me interesting. I still don't know if it is a good idea to date within the program, esp the groups that you attend. I am just going to keep talking to her and enjoy it when she stretches in meetings. You cannot tell me that women don't know exactly what they are doing when they put their arms up in stretch. Maybe I am wrong about this but I like it anyway.

OK, thats enough of my pining about xx chromos. In the past I would have a crush and not even talk to the women. I think thats progress or maybe I am just realistic now. I think I am at a really good point in my life right now. If I lost my job tomorrow I would be ok, I have enough money saved to live for a year and thats something that I thought I'd have. Or if I had some cash I would think about quitting my job or just spending it. Granted I wish things would come to me a little faster but it really hasn't been that long since I was active. Its also only been two months since I've been working out, thats not long at all. Patience is most def a virtue in sobriety/recovery and it takes some time getting used to that. I need to enjoy the whole not knowing aspect of the future. Not knowing if a woman wants to hang out with me, not knowing if I will actually lose the weight I want to, not knowing if I will get a job I like. Not knowing whats going to happen is part of life and I would do well to accept and to look forward to that. Whats funny is that I am watching a movie called "Next" which is about a dude who can see two minutes into his future. Interesting how the subconscious works. I may not be able to control the future but I can control the day.