Giving People Headaches

Today is Sunday February Twenty First Two Thousand Ten. Don't rightly know why I'm up so early today as I only went to bed six hours ago. I went over to a friend's house for dinner last nite and the first thing she said to me was "The cologne you are wearing is giving me a headache. I like it but it has to go." I didn't bother to respond because it was such a stupid thing to say and its one of the many reasons that I will never date her. She has been great in redeveloping my ego early in my sobriety but the world seems to revolve around her most days and thats something I'm not going to deal with. Problem is that most of the time I really enjoy my time with her but then she lets go with something so asinine that I want to shave my eyebrows and join the yoga cult. Too bad tho, she is pretty hot and enjoys seeing live music when she isn't ill or otherwise incapacitated.

I had a long talk with my sponsor yesterday and I hope I was able to convey my displeasure with the lack of call backs. I think I told him that it really bothers me when I call and leave a message and I don't hear back for a week and thats a pretty sucky way to sponsor someone no matter how strong his sobriety appears to be. I dunno, I will see if he gets it and if he doesn't then I will have to more on and I know its not the end of the world and many folks get different sponsors in their recovery. Obviously it is important enough for me to worry about it and if things don't get better then they will change. I am in the drivers seat for the most part and its my decisions that make the difference.

Watching the Stooges, good TV to blog to as I don't have to focus on the boob tube all that much. Sundays are really the only day that I watch TV anymore and really only the news programs in the am. The WWII Stooges with Moe dressed up as Hitler are pretty harsh but I am glad that the PC police have not demanded that they are taken off the air. It was a absolutely horrific time in human history and we should never forget what happened. How it happened. Why it happened. What counties let it happen. I am not going to get into a discussion of the holocaust because I am not a historian and not a good writer. It comes down to one human hating another and twisting that hate into something that defies comprehension. I spent my entire freshman year of high school studying the holocaust and as an American with German roots it was very difficult to comprehend. I think I understand why it happened but the practical logistics baffle me.

Yesterday's Quaker Friend's meeting was excellent as usual. Such a good use of my time and I always enjoy myself. There were some difficult moments, a friend of mine is going thru a really tough time and doesn't really see a way out or an end in sight and its crushing her. That is what AA is first and foremost, a forum to share your thoughts and feelings with others without fear of criticism. It seems like she has been going thru this for months now and is at a breaking point. She continues to attend AA meetings and thats what matters, is able to acknowledge a need for support and is aware of where to find it. Just breaks my heart to see someone in such continued pain and I am so lucky in my life at the moment.

I went out to dinner with a bunch of folks Friday nite and it was a big step for me because this is the first large group outing I have ever attended. I don't know why really, I consider many of the people in the program my friends and I enjoy their company. They are a safe, happy, considerate group of people who I have a connection with on a very basic level. I really enjoyed myself and am glad I went because I always enjoy other people's company. My enjoyment of other humans is one of the reasons why I knew I was so sick last fall and winter. All I wanted to do was to hang out by myself and that is so opposite of who I am. I am happiest when I am with others and I feed off other people's energy and hear their opinions on all sorts of things. I am a very social person and I've always found it easy to meet other people and I spend a fair amount of effort staying in touch with people. Its much easier these days with email and fabo but you still have to take the time to do it.