Weekend On The North Shore & Thoughts

Today is Monday February First Two Thousand Ten and I have much to babble about today. I took a few days off from writing for no apparent reason and while I did try to write something on Saturday afternoon I was watching a movie and my writing was even less coherent than it normally is. I spent the better part of the weekend up in Topsfield and Newburyport and it was relaxing. I was able to catch up with some friends of mine who recently returned from a two month trip to Asia and it was cool to see them again. They always bring me back a t-shirt from their travels and this time it was a technics dj shirt with a nun spinning. Will make sure to wear that around some Catholics at some point, people are way to uptight about their religion. I realize thats pretty fucking obvious but these great observations just seem to come to me and I must share their greatness with the world. Or something like that.

Friday night started well, got really crappy, and then ended on the upswing. A friend and I had a good dinner and I hadn't seen her for a few months so it was good to catch up. We then met another friend at the HOB bar and then things went down the dumper fairly quickly. While I was waiting to get my wristband my friends somehow managed to skip the long line and enter quickly into the show. I know it was cold out and nobody wants to wait for twenty minutes outside but I wonder what would have happened if the roles were reversed. If I was the one who blew the girls off and thought only of myself and my own comfort and went right in the show without considering the other people who were with me. I am not trying to be a grumpy gus or anything but I just would not have pulled that type of thing. I would have waited for the others and if I still could skip the line and enter with them I would. I am not lying here, I would have totally waited for others who didn't wait for me.

So I was sort of pissed and the house of blues only added to that when I tried to get into the place. First off the were yelling at me to empty my pockets which is fine as they always do but then they told me to unzip my jacket. Well, my hands were frozen and evidently I didn't move fast enough for the guy searching me. He also questioned my container of nicorette and when I explained what it was he looked at me suspiciously and told me that he was able to quit without using the product. I didn't say a word because at this point I was ready to scream at this asshole but I bit my tongue and proceeded to get inside. Then I found out that my tickets were only for the second floor and my friends were on the ground floor and we didn't hang out for the first set. Its probably for the best because I was still a little pissy about the line incident but it would have been cool if the HOB explained that a bit more when I purchased the tickets. I was able to talk my way to the floor and did in fact meet up with my friends and I was pretty chilled out by then. The show was great and while I didn't really talk to either one of them much they seemed glad to see me. On the way out we were talking about speed metal for some reason and one of them will be going to the Slayer & Megadeath show on V-day. Didn't see that one coming and I know that you have to look beyond people's faults but its just that I try to think of others before I think of myself and I tend to expect others to do the same.

I watched the movie "The Libertine" starring Johnny Depp on Saturday and it appears that the late sixteen hundreds was a great time to live in England if you had even a little bit of cash. The movie was about the poet John Wilmot's adventures in Charles II's court. He slept with as many women as he possibly could, drank daily for seven years, and oh yeah wrote a couple of plays pointing out how crappy of a king Chuck2 was. The king was also his friend and would banish the poet to either a tower in hos castle or to his wife's mansion in the english countryside. Chuck2 was trying to get some dough from the French so in order to impress them he asked Wilmot to write a play for their visit. The play was a satire of the king's court and the women danced around with giant dildos, gave everyone in attendance their own personal dildo, and the poet was going to end the play with someone giving him a bj on the stage. The king stopped the play before it got that far the Wilmot escaped to the country for six months. During this time he gave obgyn checkups while dressed as a woman, pretended to be a magician, and pretty nuch porked anything that moved whether it be a man or a woman. He then contracted syphilis and died a few years later, only after he swayed a vote for some important legislation. All in all, quite a run for a guy who was only thirty-five when he died. As usual Depp was fantastic and it seemed like a prep for the pirate movies he would do for Disney in later years.

I had an enjoyable visit with my friends Bob & Sophie on Sunday and I am glad they are back from Asia. Bob is a very good friend of mine, probably my best friend at this point and his wife is brutally honest with me. Its not always comfortable to talk to her but I appreciate that she cares enough about me to say whats on her mind. We were talking about my reasons for drinking and she thought that it was because I didn't appreciate myself enough and that I didn't feel like I lived up to my potential or other's expectations. She is correct on the expectations part, I drank so that I wouldn't have to think about the future and that my life was slowly going down the toilet like a big turn caught in the pipe. She thought that my brother had something to do with it and while that is an interesting observation its not the truth whatsoever. My family were always quick to point out what I was good at versus Chris and I never felt like there was a competition between is. There was competition for sure, but not on life's successes or failures. I know that Sophie has some major problems with her siblings and perhaps some of that clouded her observations but I am glad we talked about it. Both Chris and I took a major whipping in oh eight and we are both better men because of it. I have been trying to figure out why I drank so much for so long and I think that fear of the unknown was a major component. I didn't have the skills to manage my own life and I didn't want to think about my personal responsibilities so I chose to drink and forget.

Sophie also wanted to know if I would think about dating Deborah again. I wonder if that was something she was just nosy about or if the Debster asked her about it. It is a resounding nofuckingway I would ever date her again, too much pain from the first time and while I did learn a bunch from the short time we were together I sorta wish that we never dated. I know thats super harsh but it was like dangling a carrot in front of me for three months and then throwing it into a wood chipper and pissing on the remains. Well, perhaps not that harsh but she was only the second woman to make me physically sick after we broke up. I didn't eat well for weeks after I stopped seeing her and started drinking in the morning during that time. I am not blaming her for the drinking, just the heartache. Granted I pulled some stupid shit and had much to work on but don't tell me you love me after a month and then break up with me two months after. She later told me that she was in love with my heart and not necessarily with me as a person. What the fuckity-fuck does that mean ? To this day I have no idea and while Debster is a fairly honest person I don't think she was all that honest with me as to her feelings for me. I was head over heels in love with her and perhaps she felt she owed me something. Maybe I am not remembering it correctly or remembering what I want to to remember. All I know is that I puked for days after she told me to get the hell out. Good times, lesson learned.