Emails Can Change Your Day

Today is Thursday February Eighteenth Two Thousand Ten. I wasn't going to write a blog entry today but then I got a email from a friend and that changed everything. Its funny how life is like that, you can be just walking along mumbling to yourself and then WHAM ! something happens and it effects you. I talk to myself constantly and people don't look at me as if I'm nuts nearly as often as they used to thanks to those hands free devices for cell phones. I am just able to think much better if I am able to verbalize things and even better to write them down like I am doing here. Plus, I like to hear myself talk.

So my friend sent me an email this morning about my former best friend/God daughter's father. She has been talking to his mother and in fact his mother came to her. His family is aware of some of his problems and evidently he is in more trouble that we both realized. Now with him that could be a variety of things whether it be legal or substances. Of course I want the juicy details but its not necessary as I know what he is into as well as his past so its got to be really shitty. She asked me not to mention it to anyone and what is really sad is that I don't know anyone who would actually give a shit about his problems at this point. He has pushed everyone who cares for him away and the only people who still talk to him are his custies. I remember one day he was pissed because the only time that certain people would talk to him was when they needed drugs. I didn't say anything at the time but when you first talk or meet him it takes about a minute before he asks you if you need anything. Its sad but it is the truth. I hope that somehow they are able to convince him to seek help and that he will want to stop what he is doing now. I said that I would take a back seat till he is ready for recovery because I can help in that regard. Its obvious to me that my friendship isn't important to him when he is using or else he would have tried to contact me. I am not going to be some all knowing sage who is an expert in recovery. I may be an expert in my own recovery but not in anyone else's and even saying that is a stretch.

All I know is how to maintain my own sobriety and thats it. I know what I have to do every day to live a better life and if I can help others thats just gravy on the potatoes. Which is goo because I can't eat gravy with any regularity any more so if I can have non fattening metaphorical gravy then that works for me. Who knows, he may not be ready to get sober and will shut everyone out. But if he does want to get sober and is willing to try out AA its the least I can do to help. I will bring him around to some of the meetings I attend if he is willing and introduce him to some of the people who have made a difference in my life. The only thing is that I've spoken of him in quite a few meetings and in all of my shares but I'm not certain that people will put two and two together. Even if he doesn't go the AA route and tries another method of maintaining his sobriety I will at least be willing to listen and offer any help that is accepted.

There are a few formal duties that I've been asked to perform over the years that I am honored to perform. The first was writing a letter of recommendation for my sculpture professor when she applied for tenure at CSC. I was very honored that she asked me and I spent hours even days writing the thing. I think I came up with four or five pages outlining why I thought she should be a full professor before I asked just how long the document should be. I had to edit it down to a full page and it was a damn fine full page if I do say so myself. The second was when my brother asked me to be his best man and I was speechless when he asked me. The bachelor party & wedding was complicated and crazy busy but worth every bit of effort. My only regret was that I didn't memorize my speech for the reception but I was editing it on and off up until I delivered it. The third was acting as the justice of the peace for my friend's wedding. I researched the wedding vows and performed the ceremony in the hot August sun. Wearing a tux in the summer is no picnic but it was well worth it. Everyone seemed to like the ceremony and many people came up afterwords and asked me if I was a lawyer or a professional jop. It was awesome to be able to perform that ceremony and I hope to be asked again. I was just asked to perform the fifth which is to write a letter of recommendation so that my friend's wife can get her green card as she is a resident of the UK at this point. I don't think that getting a green card means that she is a US citizen but I will def have to look it up. I am very honored to be asked to do so and look forward to crafting something that is readable and convincing. I think having a green card means that you are a "resident alien" and is the first step in becoming a US citizen.

One thing I left out of the above list was when my friends asked me to be the god father of their first born. I left it out because I really have not done much for my god daughter as of yet other than to give her a few gifts when she was a infant. Due to friction between her mother and I, I have not had a chance to see her often and she doesn't know who I am. I hope that with the restoration of our friendship that I can get to know Isabella much more than I do now. Also, if I don't end up having any children and Spensley and Clayton are set for college I plan to give her a good chunk of cash for school. I have nine years to come up with the loot and I am hopeful that I am able to follow thru with my plans. If she doesn't end up going to college then I will find something else to help her out with whether its starting a business or buying a home. If I don't end up getting married and don't have kids I am planning on leaving what there is of my estate to my nephews, less the bills of course. I am not planning on dying anytime soon in fact I hope to live to at least ninety now that I am fitness boy these days.