Today is Sunday February Seventh Two Thousand Ten. It is not only SuperBowl Sunday but this is my fiftieth blog entry. Wow, fifty times I have written something and while my entries are not that well written and don't have the most exciting subject matter I am happy that I have continued to write. Fifty times is a good amount and I know some time I will be psyched to look back at what I have written. I don't do that now, I just write and then publish with spelling, tense, and grammatical errors within. The only thing I check is the spelling because its easy as shit with Firefox and I am pretty anal about spelling within the electronic medium. I used to be a really crappy speller and then all of a sudden I just got it. I will always remember going over words with my mom in our Topsfield kitchen and I just got it. I will never forget the look of absolute surprise on my mom's face when I got ninety five percent of my words correct. Something clicked and I have no idea why.
I write this blog for a few reasons. The first is self serving, who doesn't like to write about themselves ? The focus is on me and my experiences so why wouldn't I like it ? The second is that its good therapy to put down my thoughts somewhere so I can look at it later. The third is that if something horrible was to happen to me then people would have some type of record of what I was thinking at certain times in my life. I plan to keep writing at least once a week and hopefully more than that till I am unable to do so. The fourth is that I have toyed with writing a book about my experiences in recovery and this would be a good starting point for content. The fifth is if I ever happen to find a xx chromo that I fall in love with and trust completely I want her to read this blog and learn about what is going on inside my head. For better or worse this blog is public and has my first name and picture on the front page. If someone reads it and laughs or pokes fun at me I don't give two shits about it. Yeah, yeah, I drank mouthwash. It tasted like crap, made my pee smell funny, and got me drunk. I have moved on.
Today is the stupor bowl. The New Orleans Saints versus the Indianapolis Colts in Miami, Florida. Saw the Grateful Dead in the old stadium, Joe Robbie and it was awesome. Woke up under a palm tree in a zoo but thats a story for another time. I am rooting for the Saints because I hate the Colts. I don't really hate Manning, I can't see how any football fan can hate someone who is so good at his job. Plus the Saints have sucked ass for years and its cool to see them in the SB. I used to go to SB parties and get completely wasted, much like other folks. I would always take the next day off but once my drinking got really serious I started watching it on my own. I am going to watch it with my friend Court who I've wrote about before and I am looking forward to it. I will eat pizza, drink coffee, and generally chill the fuck out. Should be a good evening.
Didn't feel all that sore this morning but the Advil I ate last nite probably helped a bunch. I did the same sort of cardio workout with the addition of weight training to I am taking tomorrow off from the gym. I used this machine that totally kicked my ass the Summit thingamabob. It works your entire body not unlike Nordic skiing. It really feels great to give it my best and hardest and I think I will continue to try and mix up my cardio as much as possible. They have a cardio d-fib there in case I seize up after working too hard. I a really starting to notice the changes that exercise has on my life and I realize I have babbled about this before but it is just astounding. I am hoping to reverse many years of bad living and hopefully have the chance to live another fifty. I would like to make it to Two Thousand Sixty but like they say in AA, its going to be one day at a time.
I caught a xx chromo staring at me in the Quaker Friend's meeting yesterday morning. I think she is incredibly hot but I don't know how smart it would be to date someone in the program. Plenty of people couple up as a result of knowing each other thru meetings but I dunno. I mean she is smart, hot, and has amazing boobs but I still don't know. I think it would be different if I didn't have any friends outside the program and have some significant female friends but who knows. I am just going to keep working out, eating right, and living healthy and do what I can to be there for my friends both in and out of the program. Its just that there is something between us and I know that she feels it as well. Something to think about I guess, perhaps if I keep babbling about it enough I will figure something out. Or not.
GO SAINTS, YOU AREN'T THE 'AINTS NO MORE !
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